no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
