I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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