That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
