If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
