I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
