Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
