I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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