Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
