need another drink. this is the easiest way
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This house was built for laser tag.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
