My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He did a backflip because drugs
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