Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dignity is for republicans.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
