dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
