He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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