You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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