I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
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i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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