i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
