We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize