it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
