I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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