Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My penis needs a shock collar
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
