I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
