No, you can still breathe under the balls.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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