were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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