since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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