How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize