that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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