brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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