I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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