In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
