maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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