my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm passing your future prison.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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