Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
