Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
