i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
