This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
