We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize