If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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