Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
