She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
