so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize