you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
