I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
