are you still at the devil's house?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
