Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
