the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
