I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize