no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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