Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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