don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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