Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
