Yo dont text me then not text me
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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