So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
