I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
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Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother