i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.