...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.