we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So vagazzling was a success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.