it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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