Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
only if we run a train.
done.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
