Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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