Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize