oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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