Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
don't judge my taste in strippers
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
